Can Working Mums Really Do It All? | Tips for Achieving Work-Life Balance

Originally Published on 14th May 2019

Work-life balance, according to an article published by Forbes, is an important aspect of a healthy work environment. It helps reduce stress and helps prevent burnout in the workplace which results in a more productive workforce. Alan Kohll, the article’s author and the founder and president of a health wellness provider, Total Wellness, says the knowledge and approach of a work-life balance constantly evolve and vary to everyone, especially among the Baby Boomers, Generation X, and Millenials. But regardless of which generation you belong to, for working mums, only one thing is for sure – maintaining a work-life balance can get really tough, especially after having kids.

Why? Mostly because of two reasons.

First, you could be among the 1 in 2 mothers reported to experience workplace discrimination as a result of their pregnancy, parental leave or return to work according to the Human Rights Commission Gender Equality survey in 2018. Second, because you have no choice but to work full-time due to the financial standing of your family – the bills you and your husbands need to pay just keep on coming.

If you get to work and suddenly you find that your responsibilities are lighter, there’s nowhere in the office to express milk, or you’re getting punished for requesting a flexible working schedule, those add to the pressure you get from juggling motherhood and pursuing your career and to be honest – most of the time this could really make us lose our ‘shit’.

In 2016, there are 211,039 families where both parents worked full time out of 1,161,643 families in Greater Melbourne according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics. That’s close to 30% and by now, I’m pretty sure the numbers have gone up. The cost of living is no longer the same plus you add children to the equation – even if some mothers would rather stay at home and take care of the kids, as painful as it is, it just wouldn’t happen. The increasing needs of our ­children and the structure of childcare have become even more challenging nowadays. You’ll learn more about the reasons why mothers work in one of our blog posts, here.

Christine Armstrong wrote an article in September last year, in The Australian online magazine with the title, “The secrets we keep,” and she said there is a whole generation of women being led to believe that parenting and having a career is possible when it really isn’t. She cited personal experiences and testimonies from other women she knows who worked full-time while raising their children and tried so hard to make it work but couldn’t. Armstrong also discussed “flexibility” and how it could mean the willingness or availability to work all the waking and non-waking hours of the day which according to her mostly doesn’t work well.

Now if you combine the workforce discrimination for working mothers, the growing needs of every household with children, and mothers like Armstrong who admit they just cannot juggle full-time work and raising children, you may ask this question again: Can working mums really do it all?

The answer is, no.

Like most working mums, I too, struggled from “mum guilt” when I went back to work after I had kids. I too, went through a difficult time juggling motherhood and career. My husband and I both wanted our family to be financially secure as well as help provide for our families overseas but our families live far so we couldn’t get the right support we need. Finding childcare that can give us enough flexibility is almost next to impossible as well.

So no, I couldn’t do it all.

But that didn’t stop me from figuring out what works for “me”.

I know what I want career-wise and I’m working hard to get to where I want to be but my children’s well-being will always be my top priority. I found that having Aupairs worked for me and my family really well. My husband and I did not just get the right amount of flexibility for our jobs and our relationship as a couple, we also allowed our children to be exposed to learning different cultures and establish a special bond with the new member of our family.

Of course, I also experience awkward and unfair treatment at work. Some of my bosses that have children understand where I’m coming from. The ones that don’t (even females) – don’t. I was not offered special projects that would give me the right exposure for career progression, I had to push for it. As a woman as soon as you mentioned “family” – you drop off the radar for any career progression. However, situations like this light the fire in my heart even more because I don’t want my children and my children’s children to live in a future where problems of gender inequality still remain. More and more women can go back into the workforce with the right support – having Aupairs I believe must be considered by every Australian household.

I still feel the “mum guilt” every once in a while. Sociologist, Dr. Judy Rose, said, “Any mother breathing has felt mother guilt. It’s, unfortunately, part of the motherhood experience.” Dr. Rose dedicated her Ph.D. to the near-universal phenomenon of the “mother’s guilt” topic. We’ll always want the best for our children and I believe it’s completely fine to sometimes ask yourself, “Am I giving enough for them?”. We’ll constantly try to nail the essence of motherhood, especially as a working mum and there shouldn’t be a shame in that.

For other mothers who prefer to work part-time, remotely or have a business where they are their boss, what they do works for them and that’s extremely admirable as well. If you choose to step back a bit or stay away from full-time corporate work, you are also making a big difference to yourself and your families. And for those who choose to give up work altogether to be a full-time SAHM, heck yeah, whatever makes you happy! It’s all about having a choice.

I want to end this blog post with a reminder: do whatever works for you and for your family. If you think modifying work hours or taking shift work to fit the family schedule, multitasking, being organized, having your own business, working part-time, calling on your husbands as helpers, and in my case having Aupairs as my village of support – can make you and your children comfortable, financially secure, and most of all happy, then do that. Only then, I believe, that you’ll be able to live with a work-life balance and be the superwoman that you are at the same time.

I know a lot of families face a similar challenge of having to work and lacking family support so I started a community called 99Aupairs.au It’s a platform where families can find Aupairs as flexible in-home childcare support. It takes a village to raise a child and while we don’t always have family support, we create flexibility by hosting Aupairs. If you want to know more about 99Aupairs and the Aupair program, feel free to visit our website @99Aupairs.au or send us an e-mail at support@99Aupairs.com.