Why You Should Never Feel Guilty for Getting Help: The Modern Mum’s Guide to Sanity and Support
Let’s Stop Feeling Guilty for What Our Grandmothers Would’ve Dreamed Of
There was a time when families lived next door to each other. When grandparents helped with school runs, aunties did pickups, and your next-door neighbour knew when you had a fever before you did.
Today? It’s different. Families are scattered, both parents often work, or one parent works alone—because the other didn’t pull their weight. The village is gone. But the expectation that you can do it all still lingers like an outdated perfume.
It’s time we rewrite that story.
As a mum of three, agency founder, and a woman who spent over15 years in corporate before building 99 Aupairs, I’m here to say this:
You don’t need to feel guilty for building your village. You need to feel smart
Even Annabel Crabb Had an Au Pair — And She’s One of Australia’s Most Respected Journalists
In The Wife Drought, Annabel Crabb shares a refreshing truth:
“For the last six years, we have hosted, off and on, a series of live-in au pairs… Having a third person around to pick up unexpected slack is an incredible advantage, without which our place would not be able to function.”
She didn’t write that from the top of some ivory tower. She wrote it from the floor, where most of us are—juggling early starts, late meetings, forgotten homework, and the endless “What’s for dinner?” loop.
If even she—an accomplished, full-time working mother—needed help, why are we still whispering like needing an au pair in Australia is a luxury?
It’s not. It’s a lifeline.
You Don’t Question Buying a Washing Machine. So Why Question an Au Pair?
You don’t see mums meeting by the river every Thursday with laundry baskets, do you?
No. We invested in washing machines.
Because modern life requires modern solutions. And guess what? Today’s solution for working parents is called an au pair.
Hiring an au pair is not about weakness or laziness or prestige. It’s about:
- Giving your kids the care they deserve
- Making space for your career or business
- Getting a moment to yourself so you don’t burn out
And when you think about it, it’s no more indulgent than running water or Wi-Fi. It’s just a new kind of necessity.
My Reality: A Rockstar Husband and a Bigger Village
I am lucky. My husband took parental leave with all three of our children. He ran the household like a boss, cared for them, and knows what it’s like to juggle the endless mental and emotional load.
But even with that—it wasn’t enough.
Because modern family structures simply aren’t built like they were in the 1950s. There’s more hustle, less help, and zero margin for error.
So I expanded my village. And I’ve helped hundreds of other families do the same through 99 Aupairs.
How to Build Your Modern Village (Without Shame)
Here’s the truth: everyone needs help. But not everyone knows how to ask for it. Here’s how to start:
- Drop the guilt. It’s not indulgent. It’s intelligent.
- Identify your gaps. School runs? Meal prep? Homework? NDIS support? List it all out.
- Bring in the right kind of help.
- Grandparents? Amazing.
- Neighbours? Sure.
- Babysitters? Love them.
- Au pair? Now we’re talking.
- Make support permanent. Don’t wait for burnout. Don’t treat help like a holiday. Build it into your life as a necessity.
Why 99 Aupairs Exists
We’re not just here to plug a gap. We’re here to:
- Help you reclaim quality time with your kids (and yourself)
- Offer flexibility when needed yet overpriced childcare fails you (its the sick days I am talking about)
- Make your life run smoother, not more stressful
- Support working parents who are doing it all—and need backup
Because no one gets a medal for doing it all alone. But they do get burnout, resentment, and regret. And that’s not the legacy we want to leave our children.
Final Word: Your Kids Don’t Need You to Be a Martyr. They Need You to Be Present.
Let’s normalise what modern parenting really looks like:
- Sometimes messy.
- Often exhausting.
- Always better with help.
Let’s stop glorifying the struggle. And let’s stop punishing mums for saying, “I can’t do it alone.”
Because the truth is—you’re not supposed to.
And thanks to modern solutions like au pairs in Australia, you don’t have to.