Six Things You Need To Know Before You Become An Aupair
Originally Published on 26th February 2019
During my studies which is a while ago now, I have met a lot of great aupairs back in Germany who were mostly from Russia or Ukraine. All of them took the opportunity to go overseas to improve their language and be able to enroll at a German University. Being an aupair helped them get the degree they need so that they could have a better chance in life. Eventually, they were able to settle in the country, got a good paying job, and now have their own families. They became my friends and we still keep in touch every once in a while. That was my first experience or interaction with aupairs which was really awesome.
Now that I’m in Australia and have become a host-mom to several aupairs, I realized there are two different streams of personalities that look at aupairing a bit differently. I also noticed that some aupairs are confused about what they’re really supposed to do as an aupair, how to deal with bad experiences, and how to get the best out of their aupairing journey.
This is the reason why I recently did a focus group with some former and current aupairs to ask them what they wished to know before they became an aupair. We also compared their responses to the recent study that came out in November about the concerning situation of aupairs in Australia.
The focus group gave us the following six important points you need to consider before you become an aupair:
1. Don’t Go In It For The Money
If you have been an aupair before, you already know that you are not going to make a lot of money being an aupair. You can actually earn more working in a bar compared to being an aupair! It’s important that you understand the real purpose of aupairing: it is for a cultural experience, learn a new language and experience a new lifestyle. You have to keep in mind that the real aupair definition is not to earn money. It’s a great opportunity for you if you’re a student and you want to become a demi-pair because you’ll be able to work 15-20 hours per week and cover all your living expenses for that week.
2. Your Heart Needs To Be In It
Being an aupair means, being with the family 24/7. So if you’re heart isn’t into it, you’ll probably end up feeling miserable and you might feel trapped as an aupair. I remember when I was still living in a shared accommodation back in the days, my friends and I used to joke around and say: the best thing about shared accommodation is that you’re never alone, the worst thing about shared accommodation is that you’re never alone. It’s actually great to have a family that checks on you on how you’re doing, helping you go around places and learn the lifestyle and language. You will never feel alone when you become an aupair even though you’re in a foreign country.
However, we also understand that aupairs sometimes don’t feel like they can relax because they always have to be around the family. They feel like they’re always obliged to help out even if it’s their rest day because the kids are always around, there are always stuff that needs to be done, the family might expect you to help take care of the dishes after dinner, or get the kids in bed, and other things. You may struggle to separate between working hours, looking out for the kids, helping out the family and actually relaxing, not feeling obliged to do anything. In this case, it is best to communicate with the family by letting them know that you need a break. Don’t be afraid to ask for a 5-minute break to go to your room and relax. Sometimes you may not feel like talking to people or you’re just feeling tired so be clear with what you want. Remember that you didn’t have that much time getting to know the family when you started as an aupair, so they might not know when you’re feeling tired or not happy. Whatever it is you’re feeling, make sure you communicate with them.
3. Make an Effort To Make Friends
Sometimes you just want to talk about other things and talking to the family may not be the best way to do that. The family is most likely to talk about their kids and how their day went which may not be very enjoyable for you since you’ve been with them for the whole week. You may feel like being bitchy about your day like complain about how much work you need or how hard it is to take care of the kids and you can’t really do that with the family because they might feel hurt or offended.
Make sure you make an effort to socialize, make friends with other aupairs, or create a list of top 100 things to do and plan them in while you’re in Australia. You can go surfing, visit the Great Barrier Reef, feed the Kangaroos, and do other fun things. You became an aupair to make friends and have fun so make sure you do exactly just that.
4. Sign a Contract
Before you start searching aupair Australia over the internet and getting ready for your awesome adventure, you must first know the importance of signing a contract. It’s very important that you sign a contract before you become an aupair because it will give you clarification with what the family wants you to do and what you can do for them. A contract must clearly include things like what happens if you used the family’s car and you get into an accident during your working hours versus your spare time whether it’s your fault or the other person’s fault, or what happens if you get sick. When it involves cars and accidents, they can be a very expensive problem so make sure the contract has your covered.
Although the study showed that more aupairs are going to agencies to sign a contract with the family, there are also families who take care of it themselves so they’ll be the one to introduce you with the contract. A contract can be very basic information on a piece of paper but whatever it is written on it must something you agree with. Ask questions and if there’s something you don’t like, let them know. The family will likely feel you’re really invested to becoming an aupair if you ask questions, politely of course so it won’t feel like you’re being too difficult or desperate such as how much pocket money will they give to you. But make sure you familarise yourself with the role first and ask questions about the kids before you ask about the pocket money.
5. Do Your Own Research
Going to an organization because you believe that they will look after you may not always be the best way to do it because they will mostly look after their paying customer first before they check on you. The agency will follow through whatever the family needs and since they’re the paying customer, they might prioritize the family more than your needs. You must do your own research on aupair Australia websites, ask questions whether you go through an agency or through Facebook, ask what else it is that you need to look out for and make sure your needs are provided to avoid any future problems once you become an aupair.
6. Address Your Concerns Right Away
If you feel sad, confused, tired, something annoys you and terrifies you, address it immediately. If you don’t feel comfortable with something whether your work hours, how the kids behave, or how you’re treated by the family, make sure you let them know. This is applicable in everything else in life, whatever your work is or whatever relationship you are in. It’s important to address your concerns immediately, don’t sit it out, don’t dwell because being quiet is not going to resolve your concern.
One personal tip I can share is, stay out of family politics. If the couple is debating about something, do not take any side. You can politely say, “I don’t really want to comment about that because I’m from Switzerland (your country).”
We hope these tips helped answer some of your questions about aupairing. We want you to really have a great time, discover yourself, get out of your comfort zone, and create great experiences. If you have other questions, head over to our site at 99aupairs.com. We are a platform where you as an aupair actually get more to say and get help during the process of finding a family. We want you to have the best possible chance of actually having an amazing experience.
Join us on our Facebook Aupairs Only group, our Instagram and register to 99aupairs.au if you are looking for a host family.